I am basically a happy person. I have a great life; an awesome husband, 3 wonderful kids, a home in a nice community and good health that allows me to do lots of fun activities. I grew up happy feeling the love and security of a stable family and was always content with life.
So, I have no real need to seek out "the secret of happiness". However, this book
"The Happiness Equation: Want Nothing + Do Anything = Have Everything" caught my eye at Costco the other day so I bought it. We recently saw the author interviewed on the news and it sounded kind of interesting.
Well, I really enjoyed the book. It isn't anything shocking or crazy; mostly common sense, but none the less, it is the kind of things you don't think about much and just take for granted. One of the things he stresses is that you need to start out "happy" and then "success" will follow. Rather than think that you have to be miserable and work hard at something you hate to get ahead or "put in your time" and eventually reach a place where you are promoted to "success" and therefore "happiness", he states that if you are "happy", then you will do good work, and then you will reach "success".
Now the reason I say "happy" and "success" with quotation marks is that these things mean different things to different people. But the bottom line of his advice is to do things you like or enjoy or are proud to do and because you are happy doing them, you will do a good job and be successful. If you do something you hate and are very unhappy doing it even if you make a lot of money doing it and have perceived "success", if you are not happy doing it, all the money or "success" will not necessarily make you happy. This just resonated as very good advice to me.
He spoke of the "have enough" society we used to be and the "have more" society that we have become. People used to strive to "have enough" to live or survive. A house with enough bedrooms for the kids------I'm picturing the Waltons here------having a car to get you places and enough food to eat. Now we always want more; a bigger house, a fancier car, more selections of food than necessary at the Christmas spread. But his point is that "more" is not better than "enough". It's time we as a society learned to be happy with "enough".
If a janitor earns enough to support his family, enjoys his work and has time to play with his kids each day and tuck them in at night, he has reached success. If a CEO earns more than enough to support his family, take them on extravagant vacations, buy them all the latest gadgets but has too much stress, works long hours, is away from his family a lot and rarely has time to tuck his kids in at night, does he really have success?? These are the things he makes you think about.
Here are a few of the quotes from the book that I really liked:
Happy people don't have the best of everything.
They make the best of everything.
Be happy first.
Reflect upon your present blessings, of which every man has many, not your past misfortunes, of which all men have some.---Charles Dickens
It's not necessarily the reality that shapes us but the lens through which your brain views the world that shapes your reality.---Shawn Achor
For there is nothing either good or bad, but thinking makes it so.---William Shakespeare
The greatest discovery of any generation is that a human being can alter his life by altering his attitude.---William James
So, after reading this book, I am still "happy", but actually just a little bit more appreciative of that happiness. I love to travel and do lots of activities that cost money but I know that if I couldn't do those things, I would still be happy. I would still enjoy and appreciate the hike in the forest with the dozens of shades of green surrounding me. I would still enjoy the heat on my face on a beautiful sunny day. I would still enjoy a lively meal with my whole family. I would still enjoy a game of crib with my parents. I would still enjoy curling up with a book on a rainy day. I would still enjoy the company of a friend over a coffee. I would still be happy.
I am happy first. :)
